Enneagram 5w4—The Iconoclast

Since childhood, I’ve loved personality tests. Humanity has been a persistent fascination of mine for as long as I can remember. It started as a desire to understand myself, but I quickly became interested in understanding other people as well. This intense focus led me to major in Psychology, and inspired me to pursue counseling and doula work in adulthood. Now, as a writer, I get to explore the human experience in even more ways! But it had been a while since I’d taken an Enneagram assessment, so I thought that’d be a fun thing to do again. I was right.

Up front, while I’m more familiar with other personality assessments, I know next to nothing about Enneagram. I’ve taken online quizzes in the past, so I knew my type (at least, as it was back then), but not anything more. I’ve seen several writing coaches put up entire series’ on using the Enneagram to write richer characters, but I haven’t really looked into it much since I’ve got other ways I like to dive into the heads and hearts of my characters. I may go take a look at those resources for writers now that I’m on this kick, as I’m sure they’re incredibly valuable from a writing perspective and understanding characters. But, given my lack of knowledge on this topic, if my wording is awkward, or if I misspeak altogether, please forgive me. Also, I take all these kinds of things with a grain of salt. They’re not diagnostic, by any means, and certainly aren’t always accurate. They’re never going to paint a full picture, nor do I expect them to. They’re just fun! I see them more as a means of connecting with others, exploring ourselves further, learning about ourselves and other people, and identifying patterns in human behaviors and experiences.

In the past, my type 9 and type 5 were the strongest, and I don’t remember which one ultimately ended up fitting me best back then. But interestingly, it was pretty clear today. By a significant margin, it looks like I’m a 5 with a 4 wing. My 9 didn’t even make it near the top of my list of results this time. I chalk that up to the unmasking journey I’ve been on for the greater part of a decade now, and the fact that I feel like I know myself quite a bit better than I did even a few years ago. I’ve done a lot of healing, so I expected there might have been some differences since the last time I took an Enneagram test, especially when it comes to things like people-pleasing (which I know is a characteristic of type 9).

So, I’m a 5w4—what does that mean?

I’ve spent the week learning more about the Enneagram in general, as well as what 5w4 people tend to have in common. Ironically, one of the first posts I found was a Reddit discussion on the Enneagram types that seem to heavily correlate with autistic folks, and sure enough, type 5’s were at the top of that list. Particularly 5w4’s. The more I looked into it, that makes total sense to me. It was fun to read through peoples’ experiences and find how many similarities we shared.

Enneagram type 5 is called The Investigator, as 5’s tend to pursue knowledge, and are driven by a desire to understand the how and the why of things. We want to be competent, helpful, and capable, able to process complex ideas. But we can also become self-sufficient to the point of isolation. We love to ask questions and seek out new information, always ready to dive deep. It can be easy to get lost in our minds, with everything going on there. People like Jodie Foster, Ursula K. LeGuin, and Jane Goodall are some notable 5’s, and I’m thrilled to be in their company.

Both analytical and intuitive, 5w4 is called The Iconoclast. If I related well to plain old type 5, the connection was even more solid when I began looking into wings, and how they affect things. I watched one video on YouTube that had me laughing as the creator role-played a 5w4 because it was like looking into a mirror. So often in my own head, it’s always nice to be reminded that there are a whole bunch of us with similarly intense minds. We’re not alone in the experience, even if we often find ourselves alone physically (another characteristic of type 5’s). The 4 wing means that I lean into the emotional part of the human experience, too. For me anyway, it tends to show up in the way I’ve chosen to express myself through work. Every job I’ve held has required a balance of the emotional and intellectual. The creative and the cerebral. Writing allows me to transfer some of the complexity of my inner experience to the outside world, and I’m so grateful I’ve always had creative outlets to help keep my equilibrium.

While there are lots of strengths to the 5w4, I’m noticing a lot of challenges as well. The extreme introversion and tendency to withdraw is a huge one for me, and is something I actively have to pay attention to every day. Literally, every day. Because if I’m not paying close attention, it’s so easy to become reclusive. In fact, anyone who knows me, knows my dream is to one day retire to a cabin in the woods with nothing but a babbling creek, towering trees, and an endless supply of books to keep me company. I’d welcome the occasional visitor, but man, that’s the dream right there. And maybe there’s nothing wrong with that in theory, but in practice, I know it’s actually good for me to maintain social connections, and to interact with people regularly. Even if most days my instinct is to stay in my nest at home.

Looking at how they describe unhealthy versus healthy versions of the type 5, I can see where I’ve grown over the years, and where I could still devote some time and attention. I think that’s one of the best parts of these kinds of assessments. We’re able to look at ourselves a little more closely, to see where we could improve, and to see where we’re doing well.

Maybe that’s my 5 talking.

Have you taken the Enneagram? If so, do you think it seems to describe you pretty well? I’d love to hear your thoughts!