Writing Update: Querying #8
It’s been a quiet two weeks overall. Not much to report in the way of rejections or requests, to be honest, but since I did receive one full manuscript request and I’m having some thoughts and feelings crop up, it’s time for another quick querying update.
I am needing extra spoons these days.
For those unfamiliar with the spoon theory, it’s basically just a way of conceptualizing the idea that people with chronic illness or disabilities only have a certain amount of energy each day (represented by spoons), and that each activity we do costs us a given quantity of spoons. This means that, once we’ve spent all our daily spoon allotment on things like showering, cooking a meal, and working for a few hours, there may be no spoons left to do much else like dishes, or going out with friends. So, those of us with a limited amount of spoons may need to adjust what we’re doing in order to make sure we have those spoons for essential things, even if it means letting others go for now.
There could be a million reasons as to why my energy has been feeling more limited lately, but I’m in a place in my life at the moment where I’m not as concerned with the why. I’ve accepted that my body sometimes doesn’t follow reliable or consistent patterns, so I’m more concerned with the how and the what… How do I feel about it? How can I take care of myself? What can I change that will make the greatest impact on my wellbeing right now? Lately, the answer has been slowing my pace, resting more, and prioritizing time with my kids over all else.
I’m still writing a fair amount. I think my word count for last month (April 2024) was around 70k words. So it isn’t that I’m not writing… it’s just that I’m being more intentional and offering myself more grace when I need to take days off. But here’s the problem: When I have free time, if my mind isn’t consumed and wholly occupied by the stories I’m writing, my less self-assured parts of myself step forward. It’s happening right now. Oftentimes when I think about the book I’m querying, or about the querying process in general, my thoughts go to all sorts of unwanted places. Maybe my book is actual trash, and I’m fooling myself by thinking I could get an agent with it. Maybe I should have done another round of edits and revision before diving into querying. Maybe I should accept the fact that the agents I want don’t seem to offer representation to more than 1-2 new writers a year, and my odds of being one of those people is practically zero with thousands of other writers submitting to them as well. Maybe I should go get a degree in writing before pursuing this… how could someone with literally no formal education credentials be successful in a world of MFA-holding writers?
I don’t tend to dwell on fearful hypotheticals as much as I did when I was younger (thank you, therapy), but it’s been hitting in waves these past couple of weeks. It’s definitely a pattern I’ve recognized in the past—experiencing more difficult thoughts in all areas of my life when my physical energy is low or I’m in a lot of physical pain—so I’m chalking it up to that. Here’s to hoping my physical stuff improves quickly, and I’m back to my optimistic self soon! Until then, this is just where I’m at for now.
REJECTIONS
I have received 2 rejections in the past 2 weeks.
I’m nearing the end of my list, so I expect I’ll have more to close out for lack of response over the next few weeks.
I GOT ANOTHER FULL REQUEST
Every request is great news!
I was really excited to wake up to that email when it came in, and I sent off the full manuscript right away.
I respect this agency in general, but this particular agent is definitely my #1 pick there.
My biggest concern with this agent is that they prefer grounded fantasy, or stories with speculative elements which are rooted firmly in real life. WSD, the manuscript I’m querying, fits that description perfectly. It’s why I queried them! However, it’s not the only kind of fantasy I write, and now I’m just hoping that they’d be open to representing future work which leans more into fantasy than this one does. That’s if they love this book and offer, of course! Until then, it’s not really worth worrying over. But I’m doing my best to be positive about this process, so I’m just believing they’re going to love my manuscript and want to sign me. And if that happens, I suppose I’ll cross the future-fantasy-books bridge when we get there.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
The combination of typical querying stress and the difficulties that come with managing chronic illness is a tough one. If YouTube has shown me one thing, it’s that querying authors all struggle with doubts throughout the process, even when they’re not also juggling single parenthood and disability. I’m not on my own in this, and that’s always reassuring.
My head is above water, and I’ve managed to stay on top of my daily life, so I’m good overall, but I’m definitely looking forward to days with more energy and less pain. I’m sure I’ll feel more optimistic about querying at that point, too, so in the meantime I’m continuing to allow whatever feelings arise, trusting that it’s all worth it in the end. I’ve got this.
I hope you have a fantastic week, and I’ll keep you posted!
Today’s date: May 6th, 2024
